


If Your Wings Are Broken, Please Take Mine So Yours Can Open, Too

by Serena_chan



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Masturbation, Mexican Funeral (band), Mild Language, Pararibulitis (Dirk Gently), Pre-Slash, Slash, Werewolf!Todd
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-02-16 02:22:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13044507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serena_chan/pseuds/Serena_chan
Summary: "It's very easy to act like a jerk, and then say, 'Well, I'm a jerk so that's that.'  But it's not like... being a bloody werewolf, is it?"The werewolf AU that no one asked for.  Takes place during 1.05 "Very Erectus."Please note the rating jump, however, the porny bits are easily avoided if that's not your cup of tea.  More info on what to skip can be found in author's note of explicit chapters.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> So this idea has been kicking around my brain literally since 1.05 aired, and I've finally decided to hack it all out on paper to get over a really bad case of writer's block. That said, this fic is in desperate need of being beta-read so if anyone sees any glaring mistakes, please let me know.

Dirk made his way to his new apartment in the Ridgley that evening with more than the usual amount of aches and pains plaguing him.  All that digging for Patrick Spring's mystery device was hell on his lower back. 

 

  

Deciding that a shower was in order, Dirk took the moment to let his mind wander from the case to his new assistant-slash-best friend.  Todd was an enigma that Dirk had yet to fully puzzle out.  At first glance, he seemed nothing more than an underachieving, washed-up former punk rocker, but there was so much more to him than that, as Dirk was learning with each and every day.  

As he adjusted the temperature of the water, his mind went back to their conversation earlier that day, as Todd had been bandaging him him after they'd been attacked by those psychos in the woods.  All Dirk had done was tell Todd what a good friend he was, and it had un unleashed a wave of guilt and confession from his friend that still had Dirk reeling.  

 _"Do you know what I was thinking about when I was staring down the barrel of that gun?" Todd had asked him._

 _"Bullets?" Dirk had guessed.  It's what_ he'd _been thinking about, after all._

 _"Amanda," Todd had corrected.  "How if I die, there will be no one to take care of her."_

 _Of course he was thinking about his sister.  "You're a good brother."_

 _"No," Todd had said firmly.  "No, I'm a shitty brother.  I'm a shitty person.  I was thinking about how if I die right now, I'll never have the chance to make up for all the stuff I've done to her."_

 _That had taken Dirk aback considerably.  "D...Done to her?  Todd, I think with both of you sharing the disease, you supporting her since you were cured has been - "_

 _"I'm_ not _cured," Todd had cut him off.  "Not - not exactly."_

 _"What?  Then - "_

 _"Back when I first got the disease," Todd began, looking down at his hands and refusing to meet Dirk's eyes.  "I was_ desperate _to get better.  My grades were slipping and the band was suffering - I would have done_ anything _to get rid of it._

 _"One night, we were playing a gig outside Phoenix in some shady bar.  I don't even remember the name.  Anyway, I had an attack on stage, a really bad one.  After, when we were packing up, some guy approached me, said he could help."_

 _"And you just went with him?" Dirk asked in disbelief.  "Some random guy in a bar?"_

 _"I know it was stupid," Todd sighed.  "Honestly, at the time I thought he was full of shit, that it was just some line to hit on me or something, but he turned out to really believe had a cure... of sorts.  I let him..." Todd sighed again.  "_ I _ended up doing something really, really stupid, and the process nearly killed me."_

 _Dirk felt something cold settle into the pit of his stomach.  He moved to sit next to Todd on the creek bank._

 _"What did this man do to you?"_

 _"I don't want to talk about it.  Ever." Todd had said firmly.  "It's not like it was... illegal or anything, just... incredibly reckless.  But...  Later, when it was all over, I realized that I wasn't better, not really.  I still have... let's call them 'attacks,' ten times more violent than pararibulitis, but at least they're spaced out, more... predictable._

 _"Still, I thought my life was over, that I still couldn't live a normal life like this.  I didn't tell anyone what I'd done, and I just continued on like I still had the normal disease.  I dropped out of school, and I fucked everything up with the band.  I still took the money from my parents every week even though the meds didn't work anymore, because I wanted my own place to deal with my attacks._

 _"So then, when Amanda got sick with the disease that I was_ still _faking, I realized how selfish I was being.  She has no way of predicting her attacks, but now mine come like clockwork.  I have twenty-four good days, and three bad ones.  Which reminds me, I'm going to need those three days off from the investigation soon.  I can still work as long as I plan for my attacks in advance and take the time off.  I wasn't sure how to explain what had happened to me so I just said I got better, but by then it was too late.  My parents had already run out of money."_

 _Dirk gaped at Todd.  "Why not just tell her the truth, tell her what this man did to you, and - "_

 _"No!" Todd leapt to his feet, glaring down at Dirk angrily.  "No one can_ ever _know about this, Dirk.  Do you understand?  What's wrong with me is... dangerous, okay?  I'm a danger to those around me when I'm having my attacks, and I don't need anyone getting hurt trying to help.  This is my problem - my mistake - got it?"_

 _The detective had stared up at his friend.  "Alright, but Todd, I can't help but feel that telling Amanda is supposed to be your next step in this case."_

 _"I couldn't do that to her now," Todd anguished.  "She thinks I was just magically cured of a disease that she actually still has.  Do you know how many times she's told me that's what gets her through the day?  That's what gives her hope?  How could I take that away from her?"_

Dirk could see Todd's point, but he still couldn't understand what the big bloody mystery was.  What had this man done to him that was so terrible that Todd couldn't even talk about the process?  Whatever it was, it sounded like it had sort of... repressed Todd's pararibulitis for most of the month, resulting in massive attacks later.  Still, with their predictability, Todd's attacks allowed him to live a somewhat normal life.  Why wouldn't he want that for his own sister?  

And then there was the Mystery of the Locked Room, as Dirk had labeled it in his head.  The first time he'd pushed his way into Todd's apartment he'd noticed it.  There was a door, just off the kitchen with a rather fancy lock on it.  It hadn't even budged when Dirk had tried the handle.  

Todd had told him, in no uncertain terms, that the room was Private and Off Limits.  He'd assured Dirk that it had absolutely nothing to do with the case, but there was a nagging pull from the universe every time he was near it that told Dirk that that room meant Something.  He just wasn't sure what, yet.  

Stepping out of the shower, muscles feeling considerably looser and more relaxed, the detective pondered just what to do with his evening, and the following days.  Todd said his attacks always took three days to work themselves out, so that was three days Dirk would be without his new assistant.  Should he keep investigating on his own?  It's what he'd do normally, however, the idea of three days Todd-free held little appeal to him.  

As they'd been driving back, Dirk had even suggested popping round the next day to bring Todd anything he might need or simply to keep him company, but Todd had been... oddly resistant to the idea, once again using words like "violent" and "dangerous" to describe his attacks.  Perhaps they were, but that didn't mean Todd had to cope with them entirely on his own did it?  

As he pulled on a clean set of clothes, the detective had a brilliant idea.  Perhaps he'd just pop round to Todd's tonight to check on him?  Maybe once Todd saw that he could be of use and not just a nuisance, he'd allow Dirk to come again the following day.  

Reenergized by his new purpose, Dirk grabbed his jacket and decided to pick up some food to bring Todd.  That was something useful he could do.    

  
**********

Dirk showed up at Todd's door at precisely 21:00 and feeling only slightly guilty for it.  Technically, it wasn't the next day yet, meaning he still had three whole hours left before Todd was on sick leave.  He'd bought some soup at the deli around the corner, enough to last a few days.  That was something friends did for one another when one of them was sick, right? 

 

 

After knocking twice - the second time very loudly - and still receiving no reply, Dirk pondered what to do for all of two seconds before turning the handle.  It swung open easily on it's broken lock, and he once more pushed away the odd feeling of guilt.  After all, Todd might have already had his first attack.  He could be lying somewhere in his apartment, sick and unable to come to the door.  

  

 

 

"Todd?" he called.

 

 

Silence and a seemingly empty apartment were his only answer.  Dirk frowned, setting the soup container down in the kitchen and moving to the bathroom to find it empty as well.  

 

 

This didn't make any sense.  Todd was supposed to be here, holed up and preparing for his pararibulitis attacks.  Dirk perched himself on the edge of Todd's sofa and tried to puzzle out where his new friend had gone.  He supposed Todd night have decided to actually tell Amanda the truth.  He could be with her, but there was a little niggling feeling at the back to Dirk's mind that said that there was something he was missing.  

 

 

While the was sitting there, he became aware of a faint, muffled thumping noise.  At first he thought it was coming from another apartment, but then he remembered the room Todd wouldn't let him go in.  

 

 

Approaching the door, he pressed his ear against it and determined that yes, the faint thumps were coming from the mystery room.  He tried the handle but wasn't really surprised to find it locked.  

 

 

"Todd?" he called loudly, knocking on the door.  "Todd, are you in there?"  

 

 

The noises stopped, but there was no other response.  

 

 

"Todd?" he tried again.  

 

 

Silence.

 

 

"Todd, I'm not trying to invade your privacy, but if you don't answer me to let me know you're alright, I'll - I'll be forced to break down the door!"  

 

 

Still no response.  Dirk felt worry and unease curl into a knot in his stomach.  Every instinct he had was telling him that there was something terribly wrong; that all the answers he needed were behind that locked door.  

 

 

Of course, he didn't think he'd _really_  be able to break down the door, but thankfully Farah had been giving him lock picking lessons.  The lock was ridiculously hard to pick (Todd really didn't want anyone getting in, did he?), but he finally heard the catch give.  There was a chain locking the door from the inside, preventing further entry, but it gave way after a few good pushes of Dirk's shoulder.  

 

 

"Todd?" Dirk called loudly.  Again, no response.  "Todd, I'm coming in."

 

 

It was completely dark inside, and Dirk fumbled around the walls, feeling for a light switch.  Finding none, he ventured further into the darkness and pulled his phone out of his jacket pocket.  He'd just managed to click on the torch app when something large lunged out of the darkness at him.  

 

 

Dirk toppled over with a started cry as something huge and heavy knocked the wind out of his lungs.  His phone went flying and landed screen down a few meters away, the torch on the back illuminating the small room and bringing a terrifying sight to Dirk's eyes.  

 

 

Some sort of impossibly large dog - No, it was a _wolf_.  Dirk had never actually seen one before outside of photographs. - had him pinned down by his shoulders, lips curled up in a menacing snarl that made all the hairs on the back of Dirk's neck stand on end.  

 

 

"N-Nice doggie," Dirk squeaked.  

 

 

The wolf leaned in closer, growling loudly, and Dirk had an excellent view of long, sharp white teeth standing out starkly against dark fur.  Oh god, this was how he was going to die, wasn't it?  He was about to have his throat ripped out by some deranged wild animal that Todd had apparently been keeping as a pet in secret.

 

 

"Todd, help!" Dirk screamed in vain into what he now knew to be an empty apartment.  

 

 

The wolf's ears perked, and he leaned his snout down toward Dirk's neck.  The detective closed his eyes and tried to brace himself for the inevitable pain and blood.  He could feel its hot breath against his pulse...

 

 

To his shock, however, the wolf sniffed deeply along his neck before letting out a huff of air and backing off him.  Dirk lay there for a moment, staring up at the ceiling and wondering (among other things) why he wasn't dead. 

 

 

In the faint light from his cellphone, he could vaguely make out a bare bulb with a single pull-chord hanging above him.  Jumping to his feet, he yanked the chain, flooding the room with light and quickly flattening himself against the furthest wall, next to the door.  

 

 

It really was a wolf, larger than any dog he'd ever seen, with dark, chestnut brown fur.  There was a thick leather collar secured around its neck through which a heavy metal chain had been looped.  The chain was bolted into the far wall, giving the animal enough slack to move about the tiny room without being able to reach the door.  

 

 

Dirk eyed the wolf warily, heart still in danger of thundering out of his chest.  It no longer seemed interested in eating him, but the creature was pacing the room, emitting low, grumbling growls from the back of its throat.  It was obviously agitated.  

 

 

Once he was sure that the wolf couldn't reach him in his current position, Dirk allowed his eyes to scan the rest of the room.  It was utterly bare, without a scrap of furnishing.  There were deep gouges and scratches all along the floor and walls.  They looked like claw marks.  

 

 

Wait, did wolves even _have_  claws?  Dirk didn't think so, but a quick glance down at his shoulder told a different story.  There were small punctures and tears in the leather where the massive paws had been pinning him down.  

 

 

He wondered for a movement why the room was so empty.  Didn't the poor creature even have a bed?  What about food and water?  There wasn't any - Wait, what was that in the corner?

 

 

Dirk edged along the wall, closer to what appeared to be a pile of clothes.  He shone his phone light into the dark corner and saw to his growing confusion that they _were_  clothes; the same clothes, in fact, that Todd had been wearing earlier that day.

 

 

The detective frowned as he tried to work out all the things about his current situation that didn't make sense.  Why were Todd's clothes here, but he himself was gone?  How had the door managed to lock itself from the inside when there was no one there to do up the chain, and perhaps most pressing of all, _where had this bloody wolf come from?_

 

 

The wolf gazed up at Dirk, and the man gasped as he got his first real look at the creature's eyes... it's incredibly _blue_  eyes...  Dirk _knew_  those eyes.

 

 

He felt himself slide down the wall on suddenly wobbly legs to sit on the floor as an impossible idea took root.  It was too fantastic for him to believe it completely, yet it was the only thing that made _sense_.  

 

 

"T...Todd?"  

 

 

The wolf cocked its head and emitted a low, sad whine.  It obviously knew the name, if nothing else.  

 

 

"Todd if... if that's you, somehow, could you, I don't know, bark or something?"

 

 

The wolf did not bark.  It sat, staring at him intently as though _he_  were the mystery.  

 

 

Dirk ran a hand through his hair and groaned in frustration.  He'd seen a lot of strange and impossible things as he'd been pulled along by the universe - Their current case involved a girl who had somehow had her soul swapped with a dog's, for god's sake!  (Dirk wondered for a moment if those insane men had somehow managed to swap out his assistant with a wolf but dismissed the thought.  Todd had obviously had this room prepared before any of this began, and nothing Dirk knew about the other man gave him any indication that Todd had ever met any of these men before.)  Was 'werewolf' really so far-fetched?  

 

 

Dirk and the wolf (possibly Todd) stared at one another.  

 

 

"E-Excuse me a moment," Dirk stuttered out at last, feeling a bit ridiculous talking to an animal that may or may not be his best friend/assistant and possibly couldn't even understand him.  "I need to check something."

 

 

He staggered to his feet and practically bolted from the room, making his way to the window that he had used to break into Todd's apartment the day they'd met.  Opening it, he stuck his head out into the cool night air, craning his neck to search the sky for the moon, stomach plummeting as he found it.  He'd been hoping to immediately disprove his theory, but no, he found it treacherously full.  

 

 

Pulling himself back into the apartment, Dirk decided to leave the window open for the fresh air (He was feeling a little faint.) and tried to wrap his brain around his current situation.  Either Todd had been keeping this animal in secret, or Todd _was_  the wolf.  If that was the case, did that mean that Dirk would have to wait around until sunrise for Todd to change back?  Wasn't that how werewolves theoretically worked?  

 

 

Turning to his phone, Dirk discovered that sunrise wasn't until 06:00 the next morning.  That was a long time to wait for possibly nothing to happen, but maybe if he hung around long enough, Todd (if he wasn't the wolf) would come home and could explain.  

 

 

Absurdly, Dirk's own words from the previous day popped into his head, causing him to wince as he made his way back into the room with the wolf.  

 

 

_"It's very easy to act like a jerk, and then say, 'Well, I'm a jerk so that's that.'  But it's not like... being a bloody_ werewolf _, is it?"_

 

 

"To be fair," Dirk told the wolf (who might be his best friend), "the possibility that you were an _actual_  werewolf was the farthest thing from my mind when I made that statement."  

 

 

That didn't stop guilt from coiling itself in his stomach when he remembered the way Todd had diverted his eyes with a sad look on his face as he'd said it.  At the time, Dirk had thought the other man had been uncomfortable because Dirk was making a good point, but in light of recent evidence, it was probably because Dirk was being unknowingly insensitive.  

 

 

"Well, it looks like you and I are in for a long wait," Dirk said at last.  He seated himself on the floor a good distance away from the wolf, just to be safe.  "Todd - If you _are_  Todd.  Did I ever get around to telling you about how I met Thor?  It's actually quite a funny story.  As I've said before, he's not nearly as good-looking as people say, but anyway..."

 

 

**********

 

 

_The wolf was alone in the darkness (He was always alone.), but tonight something was different.  His sensitive ears could hear movement in the apartment.  He could smell a human male scent emanating from just beyond his prison._

 

_He was supposed to be alone!  He felt a low growl rumble through his chest as the intruder began moving towards his door and began trying to get inside.  The wolf crouched low on his haunches, ready to attack.  He could practically taste the blood on his tongue, and his teeth ached with the desire to bite, to sink into soft flesh and tear._

 

 

_His foolish prey had evidently not heard his warning growl.  It was at his door now, forcing its way in - invading_ his _territory.  (Something was niggling at the back of his consciousness as the man's scent flooded the room, but the wolf had been denied prey for far too long to care.)_

 

_With a mighty leap and an angry snarl, he easily had his prey on its back, digging in his sharp claws to ensure it stayed there.  The wolf took a moment to savor the sweet instant of victory before the kill.  The man was struggling and making in comprehensible noises of fear.  The nagging pull at the back of the wolf's mind got stronger, but he didn't want to listen to it._

 

_"_ Todd, help _!" the man screamed._

 

 

'Todd...' _The wolf understood that.  That was him, wasn't it?  He couldn't...  Trying to remember things from when the wolf was asleep was difficult, like chasing a rabbit that just kept running and running without ever tiring, but something about that name made the wolf pause.  The nagging was now a panicked scream, so maybe...  Maybe this man wasn't prey after all._

 

_Leaning close to the man's neck where his scent was strong, the wolf scented the man carefully.  He smelled of sugar and sunshine and something almost electric that made his nose itch, but underneath all that was a deeper scent, one that pulled at the primitive corner of the wolf's mind.  It spoke of safety and warmth and_ pack _._

 

 

_Huffing out a disbelieving breath, the wolf allowed the man to go free, feeling oddly pleased when he didn't immediately bolt from the room.  The wolf watched the man, trying to puzzle out the odd turn his life had taken._

 

 

_He'd always been alone, of that the wolf was certain.  At first, he'd been allowed to run free, chasing small prey until he was satisfied and howling up at the silver orb in the sky - the source of his torment.  Lately, though, he'd been trapped in this terrible room, unable to leave, unable to run or hunt, and always, horribly alone._

 

_Now, here was this man, smelling of pack and home.  Where had he come from?  Where had he been all this time?_

 

_"_ T-Todd?  Todd, if that's you... _"_

 

_The man was making noises again, babbling like he was trying to communicate something, but the only thing the wolf could understand was his name.  He let out a low whine of distress, trying to relay to the man that he_ didn't understand _._

 

 

_Then the man was leaving, and the wolf felt an odd jolt of panic shoot through him.  Didn't the man realize that he was chained, that he couldn't follow?  The wolf had never had anyone before.  He didn't want to be alone again!_

 

 

_He could hear the man moving around just outside the room.  He at least didn't seem to be going far._

 

 

_The man came back after a while and seated himself at the far end of the room.  He almost immediately started babbling again, and the wolf huffed out a frustrated sigh.  Still, the sound of his voice was nice, soothing even.  The wolf lay down, resting his head on his front paws and feeling more content that he had in years._


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dirk has lots of questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter should have been ready yesterday, but the news of the show's cancellation hit me pretty hard (as sad as that sounds). I'm not in a good place right now, mentally, and only a few weeks ago I realized that watching "Dirk Gently" was the only time I'd smiled all week. I was literally JUST wondering if there were enough episodes now that I could watch one a week until the next season so I still have something to look forward to... and now I hear there will never be more. (This is the first time I've ever actually cried over a show being canceled, but I've been kinda using it as my therapy right now.)
> 
> Sigh. Anyway, here's the next bit.

Dirk talked through most of the night, leaving the room only once more to make himself a cup of tea when his throat began to tire.  Over the course of the evening and the early hours of the morning, the wolf had crept slowly closer until it was lying as close to Dirk as its chain would allow.  If Dirk would just extend his arm a bit, he could run his fingers through the creature's fur.  It looked soft, but Dirk resisted the impulse.  He needed more information.  

 

 

At some point, he must have nodded off.  He dreamed of walking through a lush green forest with the wolf by his side, the full moon bathing the path ahead in pale light.  

 

 

He awoke some time later to pain-filled whines and yips.  Dirk rubbed the sleep from his eyes and found the wolf had retreated to the farther side of the room.  It was writhing in pain, claws extended, digging fresh gouges into the floor.  

 

 

"O-Oh, god.  What's happening?" Dirk staggered to his feet but was unsure if he should actually approach.  

 

 

Suddenly, the wolf threw its head back, an all too human scream ripping from its throat and making Dirk's blood run cold.  Then the fur was receding, the claws retracting into blunt nails that scraped against the wood floor.  More screams followed along with the popping and cracking of bones and muscles as they shifted beneath skin... and then there was Todd, naked and shaking violently on the floor.  

 

 

"Todd!" Dirk was at his side in an instant, hands flapping uselessly, unsure if should actually touch yet.  "Oh, my god.  Todd, are you okay?"  

 

 

Todd groaned and reached up with trembling fingers to undo the collar still fastened around his neck.  He fixed Dirk with a glare.  

 

 

"I thought I told you not to come here."  Todd's voice was raspy from screaming.  

 

 

Dirk winced.  "Well, you said I was to leave you alone the _next_  day - today - and it was nine o'clock last night when I arrived, so _technically_  - "

 

 

Todd suddenly surged to his feet, grabbing Dirk by the front of his jacket and slamming him roughly against the wall, blue eyes blazing.  "Do you think this is a game?" he screamed.  "I could have _killed you_!"  He punctuated each word with a sharp shake.  

 

 

"But - But you didn't!  You stopped yourself, and - "

 

 

"But I almost _didn't_!  Don't you understand?  I had no way of knowing - _You_  had no way of knowing, and the wolf wanted..."

 

 

Todd suddenly sagged against Dirk, deflating as though someone had pulled a plug and let all his air out.  Dirk noted for the first time the dark, bruise-like circles under his friend's eyes and the sickly pale shade of his skin.  Todd's hands were shaking where they still clutched at Dirk's jacket, but now he seemed to be trying to hold himself up rather than keep Dirk in place.  

 

 

"Look, I'm sure you have questions, lots of them," Todd's voice was laced with exhaustion, "but right now I - "

 

 

"What do you need?" Dirk interrupted.  

 

 

"Water," Todd rasped.  "And sleep."  

 

 

Dirk helped Todd to his bed, suddenly ridiculously aware of just how very _naked_  Todd was.  Dirk could feel a hot blush crawl up his neck when his hand made contact with the smaller man's bare waist, but mercifully Todd seemed too out of it to notice.  

 

 

The detective fetched his assistant a glass of water from the kitchen, which he roused enough to gulp down gratefully, before practically passing out.  Dirk grabbed a blanket and covered Todd up.  He didn't want him catching cold, and having all that skin on display was... distracting for some reason Dirk didn't want to examine too closely.  

 

 

Todd slept most of the day.  Dirk, himself, napped on the sofa for a few hours and spent the rest of the day Googling 'werewolf' - which only served to frustrate him further.  If werewolves were real, and Dirk now knew for a fact that they _were_ , then you'd think _someone_  somewhere would have posted some relevant information online.  Sadly, though, if there were legitimate facts online, they were lurking in some dark corner of the web that was less...obvious.  All Dirk could find were myths and lore and digital shrines to various book and film characters.  

 

 

He popped out once, briefly, to pick up more soup.  Loathe as he was to leave Todd alone now that he knew the true nature of his "illness," he'd mistakenly left the soup he'd brought the night before out on the counter, most likely spoiling it.  Thankfully, Todd slept through the whole excursion.  

 

 

It was nearly 17:00 by the time Todd finally stumbled out of bed, groaning and moving carefully as though he ached a great deal.  He spared a glance and a deep sigh for Dirk before scrubbing a hand across his face and making his way toward the bathroom.  Moments later, the sound of the shower filled the apartment.  

 

 

Okay, so apparently Todd wasn't ready to deal with him yet.  Deciding to go with his original goal of proving himself useful, Dirk dug out a couple of bowls that had survived the Rowdy 3's visit and began heating up the soup on the stove.  By the time Todd emerged from the bathroom, hair still damp and curling slightly at the ends, Dirk had two steaming bowls of chicken noodle soup waiting on the table.  

 

 

"Sit.  Eat," Dirk commanded.  "You must be starving.  I know I am!"

 

 

Todd eyed the soup warily as he sat.  It certainly _smelled_  good, but if Dirk had been cooking...

 

 

"Don't worry.  I didn't make it," the detective reassured him with a knowing smile.  "I bought it at the deli round the corner."  

 

 

Todd still didn't pick up his spoon, though.  "Aren't you going to ask?"

 

 

"I - After dinner," Dirk decided.  "You need to eat."

 

 

In truth, his brain was positively overflowing with questions and theories, but something about the vulnerability in Todd's eyes just now had made him hesitate.  The small, slightly self-conscious smile that curled the corners of Todd's lips as he finally picked up his spoon and began eating told Dirk he'd managed to do the right thing.  

 

 

They ate in silence until eventually their spoons scraped the bottom of the bowls.  Dirk took their dishes to the sink while Todd grabbed them a couple of beers from the fridge.  Usually, he tried to avoid alcohol this time of the month as it made his shifts slower and therefore more painful, but there was no way he was facing this conversation without at least one drink.  

 

 

He cracked open the bottles with the opener on his keychain (a gift from Amanda on his 21st birthday), and pushed one of the opened bottles into Dirk's hands as he took a seat next to Todd on the couch.  The detective eyed the bottle a little skeptically but took an obliging sip as Todd took a long pull from his.  

 

 

"Alright," said Todd, checking the time on his phone with a frown.  "We have about two and a half hours until I have to go back to the room.  Ask."

 

 

Dirk set his beer down on the floor (the coffee table was beyond repair) and took a deep breath, trying to organize his jumbled thoughts.  As usual, however, they all just sort of spilled out.

 

 

"So you're a werewolf, right?  Which means werewolves are real, which is incredible of course, although it looks very painful.  Does this mean that the man who turned you into one was a werewolf as well?  Did you _know_  that that was what he was planning to do to you when he said he could cure your pararibulitis, and how does turning you into a werewolf cure you of the disease in the first place? And another thing - "

 

 

"Stop!" Todd literally put his hand over Dirk's mouth to stop the fast flow of words.  "Just - One thing at a time, okay?"  Dirk nodded, lips tingling in an oddly pleasing way even after Todd pulled his hand back.  "I - Yes, I'm... a werewolf, or something like it.  I haven't been able to find much information beyond what the man originally told me.  

 

 

"I _did_  know that he claimed to be one - that supposedly once you're turned you're incapable of having a human disease, but...  Like I said, I thought he was full of it, that he was either nuts or was into some weird sex shit."

 

 

"And... you would have been okay with that?" Dirk couldn't help but ask.  

 

 

Todd sighed and took another large gulp of his beer.  "I was in a really bad place at the time.  I made a lot of really bad choices back then - drank too much, experimented with drugs, and yeah, slept with all the wrong people."  

 

 

"Oh."  Dirk's mind was reeling, though probably not for the reasons Todd thought.  He wasn't judging him, just... for some reason his brain couldn't seem to let go of the idea that Todd wasn't as straight as the detective had initially assumed.  

 

 

Giving himself a little mental shake to dislodge the sudden _images_  his mind was now conjuring up, Dirk changed the subject.  "So how does this all work exactly?  Every full moon you need three days off so does that mean you change more than one night?"

 

 

"Technically, I only have to shift on the full moon, but the nights right before and right after, the moon's mostly full.  If I don't shift on those nights, it can be... uncomfortable," Todd explained, involuntarily wincing as he recalled the few times in the past he'd tried not shifting all three nights.  "I can feel the wolf the most strongly then, like it's just under the surface of my skin, itching to get out.  I can get angry and aggressive..."  Todd thought of the bar fights he'd started back when he was still fighting his shifts.  He'd almost ended up dead or in jail more than once.  "It's better for everyone if I just hole up here and deal with it."  

 

 

"And no one else knows?" Dirk pressed.  "You've just been dealing with this on your own for...?"

 

 

"Around seven years now," Todd supplied.  "And, yeah.  I never wanted anyone to know.  You saw how the wolf reacted when you came in.  It wanted to _kill_ you.  Whatever I am now, when I shift, I'm definitely not human - more like an aggressive wild animal.  How could I let anyone be near me then?"  

 

 

"You talk about the wolf almost as if it isn't part of you, like you're someone else then."  

 

 

"That's how it feels," Todd confessed.  "Maybe if I'd been born this way, I'd feel differently, but it's like there's this thing inside me now that gets closer and closer to the surface as the moon gets fuller.  Once I let it out, I don't feel like me anymore."  He frowned.  "At least, I don't think I do.  It's kind of hard to remember things clearly from when I shift, and even then, they're more like... feelings and instinct than any coherent thoughts."  

 

 

Todd frowned some more down at his beer bottle for a moment.  "I sort of remember you being there last night.  I remember how angry the wolf was that there was someone else in its territory, and I remember it wanting to kill the intruder."  

 

 

"What stopped you... it?" Dirk asked.  Oddly, Dirk noticed a light blush creep its way across Todd's cheeks to the tips of his ears.  

 

 

"I don't remember," he lied, unsure how to explain to the other man the sense of warmth and safety and belonging that had accompanied his scent last night.  They'd only known each other a few days.  It would be too... weird.  

 

 

Looking for a distraction, Todd checked the time once more on his phone.  "Look, I've only got about an hour and a half now, and I'm sure you're tired from hanging around here all day..."  

 

 

Dirk looked down at his wrinkled clothes from the night before.  "A change of clothing and a shower would be nice," he admitted sheepishly.  "Just let me pop up to my place for a tick, and I'll be right back!"  

 

 

Todd looked surprised.  "Dirk, you don't have to come back.  Why don't you get some sleep tonight in your own bed?  We can meet up for dinner tomorrow if you want."  

 

 

Now it was the detective's turn to look surprised.  "Todd, I hardly think I'll be able to get any sleep tonight knowing that my friend's down here turning into a bloody  _werewolf_ \- "

 

 

"I'm not some sideshow for you to gawk at," the shorter man grumped.  "And what if the wolf doesn't recognize you from last night?  What if it tries to kill you again?"  

 

 

"I'll keep my distance until I'm sure it's safe!" Dirk reassured him.  "Come on, Todd, you've been dealing with this on your own for seven years now.  Don't you think it's time you let someone help you?"  

 

 

"Help me how?" Todd asked warily.  "There's really nothing you can do."  

 

 

"I can be here at least!" Dirk pressed.  "You don't have to go through this alone."  

 

 

"I..."  Todd should refuse - He _knew_  he should. - but he'd always been a little selfish.  Last night was the first time in seven years turning hadn't simply driven home how very _alone_  he was with his problem.  

 

 

"Okay," he said at last.  

 

 

"Great!" Dirk grinned.  "I'll just go get cleaned up, and be right back.  Should I bring food?  Ooh, maybe we can order pizza."

 

 

Todd felt a bemused smile pull at the corners of his mouth.  Dirk was acting like this was all going to be some big slumber party, and yet, it certainly was a change from his normal, self-imposed isolation.  He couldn't exactly say he was _looking forward_  to his upcoming shift, but for the first time in years the prospect didn't seem quite so daunting.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are love, especially as I'm not sure exactly where I'm going from here. I know where I want them to end up, but I'm still not 100% sure how that will all weave into the canon that the show has already given us. If you have anything specific you'd like to see or any ideas for scenes from the show that would work well with the AU I've created, please let me know.


	3. Interlude 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief glimpse into the past before we move forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a side note, this part fought me every step of the way. Todd is ridiculously hard to write, and I'm not quite sure why. 
> 
> (Dirk's voice, at least, flows easily, but his tendency toward run-on sentences is an author's nightmare when it comes to punctuation. *sigh* These boys aren't easy, but I love them.)

**_Saturday, July 17, 2010; 12:45am_ **

**_Wittmann, Arizona; 35 miles outside Phoenix_ **

 

_Cigarette smoke was heavy in the air, mixed with sweat and the distinctive smell of pot.  The lights were out, strobe flashing on a noisy crowd that nearly droned out the band with their drunken partying._

_Todd played the familiar chords on autopilot, already slightly too drunk to be performing, and flying high from the joint he'd smoked in the bathroom.  He could get through this.  It would be an easy gig, his bandmates had said.  Low dive, with even lower expectations.  Perfect._

 

_The room was stiflingly hot, the tiny, ancient air conditioning unit in the corner unable to keep up with all the bodies crammed into such a small space.  Todd's hand slipped slightly on some sweat, bringing his finger down on the guitar string at an awkward angle, causing it to cut into his skin slightly where he didn't have any callouses._

 

_Suddenly, the string had cut right through his finger, sharper than any knife.  Todd dropped his guitar and stared at his hand, blood pouring down his arm from the bloody stump where his forefinger used to be._

 

It's not real, _he tried to tell himself, as white hot pain seared through his hand and zinged up his arm._  It's not really happening.  

 

_He heard someone screaming and realized that it was himself._  

 

 

**********

 

 

_Todd didn't remember his band members hauling him off stage or shoving one of his pills in his mouth.  Everything was just a blur of pain and blood that no one else could fucking_ see _._

_His next clear memory was of being outside, sitting on the bed of Aaron's truck and shivering slightly in the night air that suddenly seemed too chilly after the heat of the club.  Matt was shoving a whole bottle of Jack in Todd's direction.  He took it and downed a healthy swig.  They all knew that he wasn't supposed to mix his meds with alcohol, but whatever._

_"This fucking sucks, guys," Danny was ranting.  "That's another club that'll never want us back!"_

_"Like that's the kinda joint we wanna play more than once?" put in Aaron.  "That place was disgusting."_

_Todd had shot Aaron a grateful look.  Out of all of them, he'd been the most understanding about Todd's pararibulitis._

_"Whatever," Danny said.  "I'm going back to the hotel.  No chance of pulling any pussy tonight after that stunt."  He gave Todd a dirty look that he pretended not to notice._

_"Think I'll head back, too," Matt said.  "We need to be on the road early tomorrow."_

_"You coming, Todd?" Aaron asked, obviously wanting to head back with the others._

_"Not just yet."  Todd didn't particularly feel like being stuck in one cheap motel room with only two beds and no privacy at the moment.  "Think I'll hang here a bit, sober up."_

 

_"Okay, just make sure you_ are _sober," Aaron said, tossing him the keys.  "You wreck my truck we'll be up shit creek without a paddle."  It was true.  There simply wasn't enough room for all four of them and their equipment in the van._

_Todd watched as the three of them managed to squeeze in, with Matt (the smallest) squished in the back between two guitars.  As they were pulling away, Todd heard Danny say through the open window, "You know, maybe it's time we found a new lead singer."_

_"Shut the fuck up, Danny," Aaron had said._

_"No, really.  Todd could still be our manager..."  Danny's voice faded away as the van pulled out of the parking lot._

_Todd stared after them before taking another couple of healthy gulps from his bottle, a hot ball of... something nasty curling in his stomach that had little to do with the alcohol.  He flopped back on the hard, cool plastic of the truck bed, staring up at the stars and trying not to think about_ his _band playing without him._

 

_"That was some fucked up shit, man.  Never quite seen anything like it."_

_Todd's head snapped up.  He hadn't heard the man approach, but there he was, standing next to the truck.  He wore a black leather jacket over a tight gray shirt that highlighted his pecks.  His black hair was spiked and his eyes lined.  With his piercings, he was clearly going for the cliche punk rocker look._

_"Sorry, dude.  You want a refund, take it up with the club manager."  Todd let his head fall back and thought that would be the end of it._

_Instead the man snorted.  "Nah, I'm not looking for a refund.  I was looking for you."_

_"Oh, yeah?" Todd propped himself up on his elbows and gave the guy his most unimpressed look.  "Medical oddities get you off, or do you just have a thing for freaks?"_

_The man laughed, and even in his drunken state Todd could see that he was handsome when he smiled.  "What if I said I could help you, maybe even cure you of whatever your problem is?"_

 

_"I'd say you're full of shit," Todd took another swig from his bottle.  "You trying to hit on me or something?"_

 

_"That depends," the man grinned.  "Would you like me to be hitting on you?"_

 

_He eyed the man up and down, not bothering to hide his appraisal.  The guy really did have an amazing body, and it'd been awhile since...  Todd's sex life had taken quite a hit when he'd gotten sick.  Maybe a night of crazy, anonymous sex was just what he needed._

 

_"You know what?  Yeah, I would."  He hopped down, only swaying slightly before righting himself once more.  "You got somewhere more comfortable we can go?"_

 

_"Definitely."_

 

_"Then lead on."_


	4. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk witnesses Todd's second shift in as many nights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm assuming since werewolves aren't *technically* regular wolves, that they possibly can see color.

Dirk arrived back at Todd's flat a mere 45 minutes after he'd left, carrying a ridiculously large, very _orange_ overnight bag.  "There's a pizza arriving in... fifteen minutes," he told Todd cheerfully, checking his watch. 

 

 

"Great," said Todd, rather sarcastically, Dirk thought.  He also looked like he was trying to wear a hole in in floor with his pacing.  Dirk let him be for the moment, pulling a couple of brightly-colored, overstuffed pillows from his bag. 

 

 

"I thought these would help," he said.  "It's rather tiring sitting on the floor all night, isn't it?" 

 

 

"This isn't some slumber party, Dirk!" Todd practically snarled, whirling around to get in the detective's face.  "In 45 minutes I have to go back into that prison and go through the worst -  You have _no_ idea what it's like!  God!  I _knew_ this was a mistake!" 

 

 

Dirk shrank back in on himself, trying (and failing miserably) to pretend that Todd's words hadn't just cut him to the core.  He heard Todd groan and looked up to find him practically tearing at his hair in frustration. 

 

 

"Dirk, I'm sorry," Todd said softly, his voice no longer laced with anger and sarcasm.  "I didn't mean that.  I...  This is another reason why I'm better off on my own.  It's close now, and I can feel it itching just below my skin, and it's...  angry.  It's _always_ angry and that makes _me_ angry, and I turn into an even bigger asshole than usual."

 

 

"Then, you don't mind if I stay?" Dirk tried to keep his voice neutral, as though he didn't care about the answer.  He wasn't sure he pulled it off. 

 

 

"Of course you can stay," Todd sighed.  "But if I snap at you, try not to take it personally, okay?" 

 

 

"I never take anything personally," Dirk said brightly (as though that weren't a complete lie where Todd was concerned).  "Why don't you take these to the room while I wait on the pizza?"  He shoved the pillows at Todd, reasoning that perhaps if he had something else to focus on, it might distract from his bad mood. 

 

 

Todd eyed the decorative throw pillows thoughtfully.  "You know, if you don't want these torn up, you probably shouldn't bring them in.  Like I said, the wolf is always angry, and it has a tendency to destroy anything I put in there.  I had a mattress in the beginning, and it was in shreds by the end of the first night." 

 

 

"That's alright," the detective reassured his friend.  "I was thinking of getting new cushions for the sofa, anyway.  These are a bit plain, don't you think?" 

 

 

Todd shook his head, looking at the disgustingly bright neon pillows, and apparently decided not to comment in favor of taking them into the small room off the kitchen. 

 

 

Dirk didn't have to wait long for the food to arrive.  Once it did, he placed the pizza on the counter, deciding to wait until he saw how the wolf would react before he introduced food into the mix.  (Dirk didn't know much about animals as a rule, but even he knew better than to feed a possibly wild beast.) 

 

 

Making his way into Todd's "prison," as he had referred to it, Dirk found his assistant standing awkwardly against the wall with the chain.  Dirk's pillows had been placed in the far corner near the door, just out of reach of the chain's reach. 

 

 

Todd was rubbing the back of his neck, eyes fixed stubbornly on the floor, and looking distinctly uncomfortable.  After a short moment of silence (in which Dirk was distracted by the sudden blush that crawled across the shorter man's face to the tips of his ears), Todd mutter a soft, "Fuck it," and began to strip.  Dirk felt his own face grow suddenly hot, and he immediately averted his eyes, heart suddenly too loud in the quiet room. 

 

 

"Is... Is there anything I can do?" he asked, his voice sounding strained, even to his own ears. 

 

 

He heard the rustle of clothing pause before Todd said, "No.  Just keep back.  Stay on your pillows until you're sure it's safe." 

 

 

Dirk sank down on his pillows, pressing his back against the corner of the wall.  He tried valiantly not to look at Todd, who was _getting naked_ , but Dirk had never been very good at resisting temptation.  He let his eyes flick upward once and was met with the sight of a gloriously naked Todd fastening the worn leather collar around his neck. 

 

 

_God._

 

 

The detective averted his eyes again quickly, but the image seemed to have burned itself into his brain.  Suddenly, it was all he could see or think about, and he found himself snatching up one of the pillows and placing it in his lap very quickly, praying to any deity that might exist that Todd hadn't noticed. 

 

 

"Okay," Todd said at last.  "Just...  Okay." 

 

 

Dirk looked up, heart suddenly clenching for an entirely different reason.  He watched as Todd's beautiful eyes closed, brow furrowed, as he let out a shaky breath.  There was a moment of silence, and then the screaming started. 

 

 

If Dirk had thought that watching Todd transform into the wolf would be easier now that he knew what was going on, he was sadly mistaken.  He watched as his friend - his only friend, really - doubled up on himself, screams of agony ripping from his throat as he clawed frantically at the ground. 

 

 

Gripping the edge of his cushion, the detective felt tears prickling at the corners of his eyes.  He wanted so _badly_ to go over to Todd, and do... something - _anything_ \- to help, but Todd had told him to _stay_...  As the muscles beneath Todd's skin began to shift, the screams changed to howls, and Dirk clenched his eyes shut, tears spilling over, unable to watch Todd in so much _pain_.

 

 

 

**********

 

 

 

_His human side had been drinking that fowl substance again, the one that made the it so terribly hard for the wolf to claw his way out, even now that his human side was no longer trying to fight him.  He had thought they were past this.  
_

 

_He howled again in pain.  Even the_ hairs _pushing through his skin was painful tonight.  
_

 

_When it was all finally over, and he was panting, exhausted and overheated on the cool floor, he knew instantly that something was different.  There was someone else in the room with him.  
_

 

_Suddenly alert, he saw that it was the man from the previous night.  His comforting scent was already heavy in the air, but - wait, he smelled... He was distressed.  Why was he upset?  
_

 

_Forcing himself up on shaky legs, the wolf tried to run to the man, but he was stopped by the cursed chain that kept him tethered to the wall.  He let out a frustrated yip, followed by a series of low whines, pulling ineffectually against his collar.  
_

 

_The man opened his eyes.  "T-Todd?"  
_

 

_He tentatively reached out a hand and shift slowly toward the wolf, doing an odd sort of squat-shuffle so they remained at eye-level.  Once he was close enough, the wolf bypassed the outstretched hand entirely, moving swiftly to lick at the salty wetness on the man's face.  It elicited a surprised bark of laughter from the man that helped to soothe some of the wolf's worry.  
_

 

"Are you alright now, _Todd_?  You are, aren't you?" 

 

 

_The man never seemed to be_ quiet _, but the wolf could hardly complain as he was suddenly_ running his hands through his fur _.  The wolf couldn't ever remember being_ touched _before, and certainly not by someone who smelled of home and pack.  It was... divine.  He could smell the man's scent clinging to his fur, and he nuzzled up against the man to spread his own scent.  The man laughed again, a much more genuine sound than before, less... hysterical.  
_

 

 

"I don't know what you were so worried about.  You're much more affectionate this way." 

 

 

_The man took his hands away to drag over the colorful lumps that were piled in the corner.  The wolf watched him in confusion, with a cocked head, until he realized what the man was doing.  He was making something like a nest for them.  The wolf felt something unclench in his gut that he hadn't even realized had been there._ _When the man sat, the wolf crawled upon the soft lumps with him, placing his head in the man's lap with a contented sigh._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are my inspiration! ^_^


	5. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk has a little time to himself, and Todd makes a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the rating change. Things get a little porny here, so if that's not your thing, here's how to avoid: Skip the section beginning with "Dirk's brain, however, was not used to letting thoughts rest..." You can pick up again after the break. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Dirk dumped his overnight bag just inside the door to his own flat with a happy sigh.  He was tired, but last night had gone so well!  Todd's wolf hadn't tried to kill him; had recognized him almost instantly.  The detective smiled as he remembered the way the creature had licked the sauce from his fingers as he'd fed him pizza like an overly-excited puppy.  (Dirk felt he should keep this observation to himself, however.  He wasn't sure why, but something told him Todd wouldn't appreciate the comparison.)  

 

 

He'd left Todd tucked safely in his own bed with a glass of water in easy reach and had come up to his own flat to get some sleep.  As much as he would have liked to stay, his assistant's couch wasn't doing his back any favors, and there wasn't anywhere else to sleep unless he crawled into bed with Todd.  

 

 

Dirk could feel his face grow hot as the thought occurred to him.  Unbidden, an image appeared in his head of slipping under the covers next to Todd's very warm, very _naked_ body.  

 

 

As he changed into his pajamas and slipped into his bed, the detective told himself firmly to stop it.  Todd was his best friend, and though he had never had a friend before, he was fairly certain that it was impolite to fantasize about said friend naked.  

 

 

Dirk's brain, however, was not used to letting thoughts rest...  

 

 

...and neither was the persistent erection straining against his pajama bottoms and preventing him from falling asleep.  

 

 

Groaning in frustration, Dirk slipped his hand into his pajamas, letting out a soft sigh as he grasped his aching cock, still amazed at being able to do this without frantically trying to hide under the covers, paranoid that he was being watched.  (There had always been cameras on him in Blackwing, and after, at Cambridge, he'd had a roommate - granted, one who couldn't stand him - so privacy still felt so wonderfully _new_.)  

 

 

As he ran his hand up and down his pulsing member, Dirk tried to conjure up one of his old fantasies - nameless, faceless men and women who would touch him exactly the way he wanted to be touched.  Yet as he began to gasp softly into the silence of his flat (Being loud still felt odd after so many years trying to hide such activities.), the faceless form began to morph against his volition.  

 

 

Blue eyes stared back at him, framed by dark hair and striking cheekbones.  Todd's well-defined body was now kneeling between his legs, his long, pale fingers wrapped around Dirk's erection, and the detective found that he no longer needed his imagination to fill in all the details.  Dirk turned his head into his pillow to muffle the sound of a moan as he brushed his thumb against the sensitive head, spreading pre-come down his length.  _  
_

 

_Yes..._

 

His hand spend up its motion, and Dirk spared one last second to feel guilty about his fantasies before all reason completely fled his brain.  Images flashed behind his closed eyelids like a movie projector...  Todd, blushing and embarrassed, stripping off his shirt, revealing firm, defined muscles and a blush that traveled to just below his collar bones...  Todd, gloriously naked and exhausted, sprawled out on his bed, a thin sheen of sweat making his body gleam in the low, morning light...  

 

 

And finally, (courtesy of Dirk's imagination) Todd naked, on all fours, leather collar fixed firmly around his neck, licking pizza sauce from Dirk's fingers, his pink tongue flicking out to clean and catch every last drop and... _Fuck._

 

 

Dirk bit down on his pillow as he came, frantically working himself through his orgasm.  As he was coming down minutes later,  a hot ball of shame settled in the pit of his stomach.  _He shouldn't be thinking of Todd that way!_   And that last image, the one his brain had conjured from... somewhere...  Dirk had never imagined anything so filthy in his life! 

 

 

Dirk stared up at his ceiling, suddenly feeling woefully awake again, as he tried to convince himself that he _didn't_ see his friend that way, that he was just _tired_...

 

 

Hadn't he told Todd to stop lying to himself?  Dirk obviously wasn't very good at following his own advice.  

 

 

 

**********

 

 

 

When Todd awoke that evening, muscles and head aching worse than any hangover, he lay in bed for awhile trying to decide what to do about Dirk.  Last night had been...  Well, not exactly _bad_.  The wolf didn't seem to have any interest in killing him, but with that came a new set of worries.  

 

 

His wolf was getting way too attached to the Britt, and Todd worried about what that would mean when all this madness with Patrick Spring was finally over.  Hadn't Dirk said that he wasn't in control of where he ended up, that the universe would lead him to where he needed to be?  How would the wolf react when the detective was inevitably pulled off somewhere else?  

 

 

Todd could vaguely remember the gnawing loneliness that curled like a hot ball in his gut during his shifts.  These last two nights were the first time since this whole mess began that he hadn't felt that way.  It was wonderful, but he knew he couldn't let himself get used to it.  

 

 

Dragging himself into a sitting position, Todd grabbed his cellphone from his bedside table and pulled up Dirk's number.  The other man answered on the second ring.  

 

 

"Todd?  What's happening?  Are you alright?"  Dirk sounded genuinely worried.  Todd felt even more like an ass.  

 

 

"No, nothing like that," Todd tried to make his voice sound reassuring.  "Look, I woke up today feeling like shit, and I don't really think I'm up for company this evening."  

 

 

"...Oh." was all Dirk said after a long pause.  

 

 

Todd plowed on, "Tonight's the last night, and my shift is only for a few hours.  It's not like you'll be missing anything."  

 

 

"Right."

 

 

Fuck, now the other man sounded hurt.  

 

 

"Tomorrow I'll be all better for the next month, and we can get back to solving the case.  Remember the case?" Todd prodded.  "Patrick Spring and his mystery device?  I thought you'd be excited to get back to it."  

 

 

"I am, of course."  Dirk was beginning to sound a bit more like himself.  "Well, if you're sure you'll be alright...?"  

 

 

"Of course I will," Todd reassured him.  "I've been doing this on my own for seven years.  One night won't kill me."  

 

 

"Right, well, have a pleasant evening, Todd."  

 

 

_Pleasant.  Right..._

 

"You, too, Dirk.  Bye."  

 

 

As Todd hung up he could feel a nasty ball of dread growing inside him.  _He_ knew this was for the best, but.. the wolf was going to be _pissed_. 


	6. Interlude 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is late and very short. (I've been in bed with the flu for the past week praying for a swift and merciful death.) This is all I have for you at the moment, but I'll try to have the next part up shortly. 
> 
> Also, thank you for all the wonderful reviews! They really cheered me up while I was sick. ^_^

 

_**Saturday, July 17, 2010; 1:30 am** _

_**Wittmann, Arizona** _

__

 

_"Have you got a name?" Todd asked, after climbing into the guy's weathered truck._

 

_"Conor," the man introduced himself, turning the key, the engine firing to life.  They pulled out of the parking lot and out onto the open road._

 

_"So, Todd, you have attacks like that often?"_

 

_Todd groaned.  He'd been hoping the topic wouldn't come up again...ever.  "A couple times a week, I guess.  Look, can we not talk about that?"_

 

_"Sure," agreed Conor.  They drove in silence for a moment before he added, "Must be hard, though, trying to live like that."_

 

_The shorter man huffed out a humorless laugh.  "You have no idea."_

 

_They'd only been driving for about fifteen minutes when Conor pulled up to a small, run-down apartment complex.  The building was made of peeling, dark grey siding that looked black and ominous silhouetted against the starry night sky.  Two old lampposts were out front, though only one was currently working.  A moth was flying against the bulb, casting eerie shadows across the cracked sidewalk where dried grass was poking through._

 

_Just looking at the place, Todd felt an odd sense of dread coil in the pit of his stomach, but he immediately dismissed it.  He was being ridiculous._

 

_"Here we are," said Conor.  "Not much, but it's home."  He turned slightly in his seat to regard his companion.  "You still wanna come up?"_

 

_"Of course."  He wasn't actually so certain anymore, but how bad would that look, ditching the guy as soon as he saw that his place was less-than-respectable?  Todd's own apartment was certainly nothing to brag about._

 

It's just nerves _, he told himself firmly as he got out of the truck and followed the other man up a set of side stairs._ You're nervous because it's been awhile. 

 

_As he unlocked the door of his second-story home, Conor cast Todd another appraising look.  "So we're clear, you just looking for a quick fuck, or are you actually interested in getting rid of whatever's wrong with you?"_

 

_Todd frowned.  "Look, man.  I don't know what bullshit snake oil you're selling, but - "_

 

_"I'm not selling anything."_

 

_" - Nothing can cure pararibulitis."_

 

_Conor didn't even blink at the disease's name.  Most people did, primarily because they hadn't heard of it before, and so they had questions, lots of them._

 

_"It's not a cure so much as it is trading one curse for another... one that's more convenient," Conor said slowly.  "But that's not what this has to be about."  He reached out and tugged Todd into the apartment by his belt loops, a predatory grin on his face as one hand snaked down to grab his ass.  "We can just have some fun, if that's really all you want."_

 

_Conor kicked the door closed..._

 

_It was the last thing Todd would be able to remember from that night._


	7. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which problems arise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More apologies. I'm still playing catch-up with real life from being sick for a week. *sigh* It doesn't leave much time for writing.

Dirk paced his small apartment.  The later in the evening it got, the more antsy he was feeling.  Knowing that Todd was just a few floors below him going through agonizing pain, and there was nothing he could do about it was driving him mad!  He'd tried going over the case in his head, tried reading, even tried turning on the television, but found he couldn't concentrate on anything that wasn't _Todd_. 

 

The worst part was he had this niggling little feeling, like the universe was trying to prod him into action.  The only action he wanted to take, however, was to rush downstairs to check on Todd - the very thing Todd had asked him not to do tonight. 

 

Dirk felt that he and Todd had made great progress in their friendship over the past few days, but if he kept pushing past all the barriers Todd tried to put up, he was worried he'd drive Todd away.  It had certainly worked with every other person in his life. 

 

"Nope.  Not going anywhere tonight," Dirk said aloud, as the universe raged in the back of his mind.  "You must be mistaken." 

 

The universe wasn't, however, and they both knew it. 

 

 

**********

 

 

_He was alone again.  The wolf knew it before he even opened his eyes.  While the man's scent still hung in the room, clinging to the pillows, it was fainter.  Residual._

 

_A low whine left his snout as his forced himself up onto paws that still ached from the shift.  Where had his man gone?  Did someone take him or had he left of his own volition?_

 

_Taking a few steps, the wolf felt the familiar, abhorred tug around his neck, tethering him in place.  
_

 

_The chain.  It always came back to the chain.  If he could just move he'd be able to catch his man's scent, track him down, make sure he was alright.  He'd spent so many nights pulling at his binding in vain, yearning for freedom.  He knew it was pointless._

 

_But tonight the emptiness was festering.  There was terror burrowing into the holes inside him, filling him up with adrenaline, panic bubbling and fizzing in his throat.  His existence had been nothing but loneliness and pain, as far back as the wolf's memory went, but for the last two nights, things had been different.  Still painful, yes, but...bearable somehow._

 

_He didn't want to go back to the way things had been.  He couldn't!_

 

_Digging his claws into the wood for leverage, he threw his weight against the chain again and again, barking loudly in case the man could hear._

 

 

**********

 

 

Okay, so he was just going to _check_ on Todd - _Just looking in, really_. - Dirk told himself as he made his way to his friend's apartment.  He could feel the universe nudging his mind along as he went, _insisting_ , really.  He had no choice! 

 

Dirk wondered if Todd would see it that way. 

 

He was immensely grateful that Todd still hadn't replaced his lock.  It meant he could slip in easily, hopefully without being heard.  He'd just go and _listen_ at the door, and if all was quiet he'd slip away... 

 

All was not quiet.  Though Todd had done his best to soundproof the room, it wasn't quite, and Dirk could hear loud barking and the rattling of the chain. 

 

Instantly forgetting his promise to himself that he _wouldn't go in_ , the detective immediately dived for the handle.  To his dismay, the door was locked - _Of_ course _it is!_ \- and Todd hadn't exactly given him a key.  Rattling the door handle in frustration, Dirk realized he'd have to go back upstairs for the lock-picking set Farah had given him.  He'd left it in his jacket pocket. 

 

Dirk rushed, taking the stairs two at a time.  The noises emanating from the room hadn't ceased when he'd rattled the handle.  If anything, they'd gotten louder, more desperate. 

 

As the Brit returned, the universe nipping at his heels, he felt more than ever that something was wrong.  The barks were now punctuated with cries that sounded... pained? 

 

Dirk fumbled with the lock picks, dropping them once as he tried to hurry.  Swearing under his breath, he finally got the door open, practically falling into the room in his haste. 

 

"Oh, shit." 

 

Todd (in his wolf form) was trying desperately to free himself from his collar, throwing himself against it, straining against the chain, claws digging into the floor.  It looked like he'd been at it awhile.  He'd rubbed the skin on his neck raw from the collar, blood running down to stain and mat his chestnut fur, making it look black. 

 

"Todd!" Dirk rushed to him, falling to his knees rather painfully on the the wood floor beside his friend.  The wolf rushed at him, kissing his face, his neck and hands, before attempting to bury his snout in all the places Dirk's scent was strongest, whimpering all the while. 

 

"Todd, what happened?  Jesus..." 

 

He undid the leather collar, which earned him another set of enthusiastic licks.  Once the wolf had calmed somewhat, Dirk was finally able to examine his neck. 

 

"Oh, shit.  This looks bad," he muttered. 

 

He'd pulled against the collar so hard that his fur underneath was all but gone, the skin torn.  The bits that weren't bleeding freely looked raw and red. 

 

"Come on.  We have to do something about this." 

 

He guided his injured friend through his own apartment and into the bathroom, grabbing towels and flannels from the rack that looked semi-clean and running warm water in the bathtub.  It took a bit of coaxing and some lifting on his part, but he managed to convince Todd to get into the bath. 

 

Dirk carefully cleaned the wounds, murmuring soft apologies every time the wolf whimpered.  He fetched a mug from the kitchen and used it to scoop up clean, warm water to rinse away the blood matting his fur. 

 

Next, he turned to rummage in the cabinet over the sink, looking for something to disinfect, hopefully with minimal stinging.  Eventually, he surfaced with a tube of Neosporin.  Grabbing a towel, he turned back to Todd, and paused. 

 

"Huh." 

 

His friend's injuries, that had been bleeding profusely only minutes earlier, were now healing over.  Pink scars marked the skin, and the raw places had faded from an angry red to a healthy pink.  Leaning closer, Dirk watched in fascination.  Small hairs were poking through the skin now, the fur regrowing, slowly, so that Dirk wasn't even sure it was moving at first. 

 

Sitting back on his heels, the detective surveyed his friend.  "I bet that comes in handy."  The wolf let out a slight whine as Dirk carefully ran a fingertip over the freshly-healed skin.  "But I'll bet it still hurts.  Poor man." 

 

He helped his friend out of the bathtub, gently beginning to pat him dry with towels.  The smell of wet fur filling the small bathroom was making his nose itch, and he paused briefly to open the bathroom door so the smell wouldn't be quite so intense. 

 

As he finished drying, Dirk suddenly felt Todd tense under his hands, head shooting up, ears cocked.  A low growl, that the detective could feel as well as hear, left the wolf's throat.  

 

Wondering what could possibly wrong now, Dirk listened for a moment, trying to pick up on what the wolf was hearing.  He didn't have to wonder long. 

 

"Hey, Todd!  I did it!"  Amanda's proud voice filled the apartment.  "It took me all evening to work up the nerve, but I took a cab.  On my own!" 

 

Before Dirk could think what to do, before he could even call out a warning, the wolf had shot out of his hands toward the door, snarling viciously. 


	8. Chapter Six PREVIEW

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Preview of chapter six. (Please read A/N.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ: I'm so, so sorry for the delay in this chapter. My only excuse is that I just can't seem to get it right. I'm currently working on my _third_ version of it. 
> 
> To be honest, I've been dreading this chapter since I first began this fic. Todd's fight with Amanda is the most heartbreaking point of season one, I feel. Although in my 'verse I feel like Todd's lie might not have been _quite_ as bad as canon (He did have the disease originally in my story.), Amanda still needs to be hurt enough to storm off with the Rowdy 3 and figure out what a badass she really is. 
> 
> My first version, I felt, didn't have enough conflict. Version 2 I let my angst flag fly, made myself cry a whole bunch, and ended up with something way too dark for the situation. Ugh. 
> 
> So now I'm on my third draft. I promise it will be posted as soon as I feel it's ready, but I didn't want anyone to think I was abandoning the fic. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for you patience and kind words! I go back and read reviews as motivation when I get frustrated or hit a wall, so they really mean a lot. 
> 
> Here's a taste of what's to come. I'm at least happy with this bit:

_There was an intruder.  The wolf could hear it approaching as his man finished drying him off.  He obviously didn't hear the threat, but the wolf knew that they were no longer alone._

 

_Something dark and primal was rising in his gut, urging him to move.  He had to protect his pack._

 

_He let out a warning growl that the intruder ignored._

 

_Rage filled the wolf.  How_ dare _they invade his territory, try to destroy the safe haven he and his man had!_

 

_Racing into the other room, he saw the invader - female, human.  With a snarl, he leapt toward his prey, jaws open, ready to sink his in his teeth and tear at the throat..._

 

_He let out a surprised yelp as the man's hand grasped him at the last second by the scruff of the neck, and to the wolf's complete surprise, he went limp.  Landing in a heap on the floor, the wolf sat in shock, as the man wrapped arms around him, holding him back._

 

_That... shouldn't have happened._

 

_The intruder had flattened herself against the closed door, mouth still open in a scream.  The man was chattering at him again, though all the wolf could understand was his name.  A low growl continued in his throat as he stared at the woman.  Who was she?  Was she here for his man?_

 

_He pushed forward, half dragging the man with him.  He could hear the woman's heart pounding with fear, smell her terror in the air.  It would be so easy to remove this threat, and yet the man didn't seem to want him to hurt her._

 

_Hesitantly, he sniffed the air around her, memories suddenly surging forward from his other half as the woman's scent filled his nostrils.  He saw a small girl playing the drums, eyes shining up at him with wonder and excitement.  He saw the same girl crying over a skinned knee and himself bandaging the wound and drying her tears on his shirt.  He saw her crawling into bed with him on a stormy night, laughing and whispering together before falling asleep like puppies in a pile._

 

Pack _, his mind supplied once more._

 

_The wolf couldn't believe it.  He'd always been alone, and in the space of a few shifts, he'd found not one, but two pack members.  He sat there, his man still clinging to him, and tried to puzzle out just what he'd done to bring about such a wonderful change._


	9. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amanda sees all, and she's not impressed with Todd's secrets.

 

_There was an intruder.  The wolf could hear it approaching as his man finished drying him off.  He obviously didn't hear the threat, but the wolf knew that they were no longer alone._

 

_Something dark and primal was rising in his gut, urging him to move.  He had to protect his pack._

 

_He let out a warning growl that the intruder ignored._

 

_Rage filled the wolf.  How_ dare _they invade his territory, try to destroy the safe haven he and his man had!_

 

_Racing into the other room, he saw the invader - female, human.  With a snarl, he leapt toward his prey, jaws open, ready to sink his in his teeth and tear at the throat..._

 

_He let out a surprised yelp as the man's hand grasped him at the last second by the scruff of the neck, and to the wolf's complete surprise, he went limp.  Landing in a heap on the floor, the wolf sat in shock, as the man wrapped arms around him, holding him back._

 

_That... shouldn't have happened._

 

_The intruder had flattened herself against the closed door, mouth still open in a scream.  The man was chattering at him again, though all the wolf could understand was his name.  A low growl continued in his throat as he stared at the woman.  Who was she?  Was she here for his man?_

 

_He pushed forward, half dragging the man with him.  He could hear the woman's heart pounding with fear, smell her terror in the air.  It would be so easy to remove this threat, and yet the man didn't seem to want him to hurt her._

 

_Hesitantly, he sniffed the air around her, memories suddenly surging forward from his other half as the woman's scent filled his nostrils.  He saw a small girl playing the drums, eyes shining up at him with wonder and excitement.  He saw the same girl crying over a skinned knee and himself bandaging the wound and drying her tears on his shirt.  He saw her crawling into bed with him on a stormy night, laughing and whispering together before falling asleep like puppies in a pile._

 

Pack _, his mind supplied once more._

 

_The wolf couldn't believe it.  He'd always been alone, and in the space of a few shifts, he'd found not one but two pack members.  He sat there, his man still clinging to him, and tried to puzzle out just what he'd done to bring about such a wonderful change.  
_

 

 

**********

 

 

"Oh my god!  _What the fuck_?!" Amanda was screaming. 

 

"Amanda - "

 

"What the hell is that - that _thing_?!" 

 

"I - "

 

"Where's Todd?"

 

"Amanda!" Dirk screamed, arms still wrapped around Todd in case he decided to attack again.  " _This_ is Todd." 

 

The younger woman stared at him, clutching the thing that looked like a wolf, but simply couldn't be - It was too big... too...something.  Then she huffed out a laugh that sounded more than a little hysterical. 

 

" _That_ 's Todd?  Dirk, do you know how insane that sounds?" 

 

"No, I know it sounds insane, but Amanda, I swear _this is Todd_.  He's... he's a werewolf." 

 

There was a moment of silence before she said softly, "You actually have mental problems, don't you?  I thought you were just a little... I dunno, _eccentric_ maybe, but..." 

 

"I'm telling the truth," Dirk insisted.  "Todd's a werewolf.  It's how he cured himself of his pararibulitis." 

 

Amanda's face went momentarily blank, slack and completely void of emotion, before she shook her head.  "No.  No, that can't be right.  He would have _told_ me if that's how he was cured.  This is crazy!" 

 

Dirk winced, feeling pangs of sympathy for both Todd and his sister.  This was quite the hole Todd had dug himself into. 

 

"Look, just wait here with me until sunrise.  You'll see that I'm telling the truth." 

 

The younger girl gaped at him in disbelief.  "I'm not staying anywhere with that thing.  There's no way it's my brother.  It tried to kill me!" 

 

"He must not have recognized you, but he obviously does now.  See?  He's calm," Dirk reassured her. 

 

Which, of course, is when Todd chose that exact moment to contradict him.  He let out a few high-pitched, piteous whines, and the detective could feel his whole body beginning to tremble under his hands.  Suddenly, the wolf jerked out of his arms.  For one heart-stopping moment Dirk feared that he was going for Amanda again, but he was tearing away from the pair of them, running back to his small hidden room, his "prison" as he was always calling it. 

 

"Todd!" Dirk called after him, scrambling to his feet and giving chase, vaguely aware of Amanda following behind him. 

 

 

**********

 

 

_His human side was always closer to the surface on the third night of his shift.  Tonight, with the arrival of this new pack member, the wolf could feel panic running through his other half.  For some reason, this girl frightened him in ways that made the wolf's stomach drop painfully._

 

_As the humans communicated with one another, the wolf felt the unmistakable straining of his human trying to claw his way to the surface.  The wolf wasn't sure he was quite ready to go yet, but his other half was becoming more and more overcome with terror, scratching, pushing,_ insisting...

 

_The wolf could feel the prickle just beneath the surface of skin.  He needed to move.  His shifts were always violent, and he had to keep his pack safe, even from himself._

 

_Darting free of his man, the wolf made his way to the cursed room in the back.  He loathed the room, but it would be safest for his humans._

 

 

**********

 

 

As Todd's yelps grew higher and pain-filled, Dirk winced as he realized what was happening.  Todd was shifting back, and much earlier than usual. 

 

"Holy shit."  He felt rather than saw Amanda peering over his shoulder into the small room, but the detective couldn't take his eyes off his friend, not while he was in such agony. 

 

As the skin beneath the fur began to bubble and shift, Amanda tried to squeeze past him into the room, but Dirk held out an arm to stop her.  He still hadn't asked Todd if touching him during his shift was a good idea.  Come to think of it, there were a _lot_ of things he still had to ask Todd, but the other man had been so tired and exhausted from his shifts these last few days.  Other than the first night, they hadn't had much time to talk. 

 

When Todd was human again, shaking and gasping on the floor, Dirk moved quickly to his side.  He dropped to his knees, lifting his friend into a sitting position. 

 

"It's alright," he soothed.  "You're alright.  Todd..." he winced, wondering if he'd remember.  "A-Amanda's here." 

 

Todd's blue eyes widened and shot to the doorway, looking very much like a deer caught in the headlights.  Amanda was standing in the doorway, an unreadable expression on her face. 

 

"Amanda," Todd croaked out.  He cleared his throat and tried again.  "Amanda, I - "

 

"Dirk, get out." Amanda cut him off.  Her voice was cold and left no room for argument.  "Go find Farah or something.  My brother - " she cut herself off with a pained look.  " _Todd_ and I need to talk." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest will be up when I can. Real life sucks so bad right now, I have next to no time to write.


End file.
